There is really only one thing that I need to say about the new Fantastic Four film; that the name should be changed to the Fantastic Crap.

I had some doubts about the movie since I first saw the trailer, and then when the first reviews started to roll in, my suspicions grew. I mean, could the movie really have been that bad? The answer, is of course yes. It can be that bad.

Let’s start with the story. It is dry, boring, and never escalates, and is almost identical to the first Fantastic Four film by Fox, but without any of the humor, characterization or action that makes the comic universe seem real, like you can see in other comic films (a.k.a Xmen, Avengers etc).

The plot centers around Richard Reed discovering a way to teleport into another dimension. He, Johnny Storm, Victor Von Doom, and Ben Grimm then drunkenly decide to teleport to said other dimension, where their biology is messed up, along with Sue Storm, who got caught in the blast of their re-entry into their own dimension.

Cue bad drama, or really, cue the lack of drama, add in some bland acting and a yawn worthy clash between the Four and Victor Von Doom, and you have this trash of a film.

The plot probably could have been saved if the acting had at least been good. Instead,  Miles Teller has given us a paltry and dull version of Reed Richards, with almost no emotion whatsoever. Don’t even get me started on his so called drunk acting in this.

Kate Mara as Sue Storm was often so quiet in her performance, I was glad it was in surround sound, otherwise i doubt I would have heard half of her lines. However, her powers in this were a tad better than they were in the previous films.

Toby Kebbell as Victor Von Doom has given us, probably the least sinister version of a comic villain, well, ever.  It felt as if he was just reciting lines, and he did not want to be there. As if he just wanted to get it over with.

Michael B Jordan’s performance as Johnny Storm felt like he was trying to recreate Chris Evans performance, but with only half the humor.

The only performance I did enjoy was Jamie bell, as Ben Grimm, but only before he became The Thing. His character seemed to be the only one with a personality, and when he turned into The Thing, it was as if all personality was leeched away.

I had high hopes that things would get better after the transformations, but it never did. Everything just kept going in a staright ride to the finish.

I think it’s time to give up on the reboots. Perhaps it would be better for 20th Centruy Fox to hand the rights back over to Marvel. At least then there would be a chance that we would get the film we all want to see.

I give this film 1 out of 5.

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